The Cycling Sconnoisseur — a Pew with a View
My latest sconnoisseur quest saw me blessed with company — how exciting, a sconepanion! — with the appropriately named Alice Cuppa Tea tagging along for the ride. I felt honoured this birthday girl had voluntarily opted to spend part of her special day with me, hoping I hadn’t bigged up my ‘project’ too much. Simultaneously exciting and terrifying is that Alice is 34 weeks pregnant. So whilst I felt I had a duty of care to fulfil, I was also hopeful that this speed demon may for once ride at a pace which allowed me to speak in full sentences, as opposed to staccato squawks.
We both expressed a yearning for coastal views and, after some deliberation, eventually settled on heading west to Queensferry, which — my sconepanion reliably informed me — had plenty of cafes. That’ll do for me.
We wound our way through the busy streets of west Edinburgh, breathing a sigh of relief as we reached the traffic-free cycle paths that would take us towards that much-needed smell of the sea. There was chat-a-plenty, Alice curiously picking my brain on the highbrow content of my specialist subject and me happily spewing forth on the merits of the half and half combo (with some optimism as to a new partner). We talked of how new baby will be incorporated in to Alice and partner Mike’s admirably active lifestyle, with me picturing one of those intrepid kids who happily joins their parents on every yomp, paddle and ascent without so much of a murmur.
We passed over the bridge that spans the picture perfect River Almond in the cute village of Cramond, pausing for a moment of ‘ahhh’ before continuing on in to the open landscape of the Dalmeny estate. This place has everything for the perfect pootle — meandering parkland paths, lumpy farmland trails (which caused me to swap saddle for swamp on my first attempt back in February — foolishly on a road bike), fresh forest tracks and stunning coastal views across the (today) peacefully rolling waves of the Firth of Forth. A grand stately home forms the centrepiece here, with wandering walkers and huffing Highlands ‘coos’ exploring the grounds with us.
I prayed that my non-existent midwifery skills would not be called in to action. Thankfully they weren’t — the only pre-natal issues occurring in the form of significant and frequently reported undercarriage discomfort… and I most certainly wasn’t about to attempt to rectify that.
The majestic Forth Bridge and Queensferry Crossing soon came in to sight; this view never failing to take my breath away with their grand and imposing presence, though neither offering a paint job I’d volunteer for… We were soon in the pretty town of Queensferry, with kilted grooms sharing the streets with fancy-hatted, stilettoed guests, pooch patrolling locals, and winter-woollied tourists, most of whom — and us — were taking the opportunity to flash toothy grins for bridge background pics.
With some excitement we rolled in to the cosy promenade café, thrilled to bag window seats from which we’d enjoy our perfectly baked scones whilst hugging steaming mugs and giggling over anecdotes of our ride… that is until my finely-tuned sconeradar scanned the glass cabinets and confirmed my worst fears — nada di scone. The assistants confirmed they were indeed not purveyors of such staples and, after momentarily pondering the ridiculous possibility of alternative fayre, we forlornly left to find what we’d been looking for.
Café two — an Instagram-friendly pink bakery pad — had sadly sold out, leading us to café three where I think the young girl behind the counter mistook my question of scone availability for ‘may I empty your till of the day’s takings?’ — such was her startled expression. Her colleague stepped in with a monotonous assertion of ‘coffee and cakes!’, and so we once again beat a hasty, if a little huffy, retreat. This was getting serious: we were hungry and Alice had a train to catch.
On the verge of conceding defeat, I chanced my arm that the high street hotel might just have some sort of afternoon tea offering and was delighted to hear the immortal words ‘yes, we have scones’. The Antico café bar of the classy-looking Orocco Pier wasn’t what we’d had in mind, but these sconeadventures are a broad church and so nothing gets ruled out. Even better was that we bagged prime window seats overlooking the bridges, smugly ‘oohing’ and ‘ahhing’ our saddle-sore backsides (one understandably more sore than the other) in to our pew with a view. The super-friendly waitress took our orders — sadly only fruit scones, but by that point I was past caring.
The sizable treats arrived quickly — served with butter, cream and jam. True Yorkshire girl Alice lived up to her name and roots with a pot of tea, with me again going for a faffy extra-hot soy flat white. We savoured and pondered, both agreeing they were packed with the right amount of fruit and not too sweet, though a little on the dry side, with Alice providing the accurate verdict that they were ‘saved by the jam’ — a generous pot of lusciously juicy strawberry stickiness.
A curious venue filled with all walks of life — making it not just one for the stunning views from the window, but also for those inclined to a spot of people-watching. We happily shared space with wedding guests, hen dos, retired couples, groups of twenty-somethings and ‘ladies wot lunch’ — most of whom were finely attired, therefore making me feel somewhat dishevelled in my sexily sagging spotty legging and padded short combo. The music was a little loud; this was obviously a place warming up for a Friday night party… and, my, were we getting that party started with our wildchild ways!
Our departure was a little rushed given Alice’s train and me needing to get home before the light faded (courtesy of a dodgy front bike light), and so we bade fond farewells with a promise to repeat this on a regular basis. We’re already researching the acceptable age and appropriate apparatus for babes on bikes…
Today’s verdict:
Ride — ‘Brilliant!’ A relatively short but super sweet ride that had a little bit of everything… made even better by the perfect sconepanion.
Scone — ‘Ok’, As Alice said, ‘saved by the jam’.
Ambience — ‘Definite one to visit’. Great service, breathtaking views, people-watching-a-plenty… questionable playlist.
